Our skit is a play on the TV show Green Acres and we would like enlist the help of the Chancellor and his wife in a little moment of fun. (If you all would stand here while the lovely and talented "Green Acres Girls" fix you up with some show props.) Follow along with me as I set the stage for what we call SMSU-West Plains' version of Green Acres.
Oliver and Lisa Douglas (played by Kent and Barbara Thomas) lived in a penthouse on Park Avenue (aka Old Oak Way, Springfield).
Oliver was forced into Harvard Law School by his parents. Upon graduation he quickly earned an associate position with a prestigious law firm. However, eight weeks later, he was caught growing mushrooms in his desk drawer and was fired. He soon found "employment", via the draft board, in the Army. After the Army, he began a more successful career as a full-fledged lawyer. Despite the prestige of being an attorney and living in expensive penthouses, Oliver yearned for the life of a farmer (aka educator).
He sees advertised a 160-acre farm in Hooterville (aka the 14-acre SMS campus in West Plains). He purchases the farm sight unseen from Mr. Haney (played by Herb Lunday). Mr. Haney, if you remember, is the perpetual salesman and always has a "deal" for you.
When Lisa, Oliver's glamorous and sophisticated wife, learns of the farm purchase she is devastated. Mom asks her to dump Oliver and come live with her. (By the way Mom is Oliver's mother.) Lisa decides it's best to be loyal to her husband and agrees to try out the farm for six months. (Which turns out to be a six-year series run.)
Lisa, who wanted nothing to do with farm life, she preferred living in New York (aka Springfield), slowly grows to love life on the farm in Hooterville.
We'd like to introduce you to several other members of this cast of characters on the Green Acres (aka West Plains) series.
Eb Dawson (played by Jeremy Robinett), is the farm's caretaker, his job is to take care of all the farm animals (aka students). Eb is always contemplating what he wants to do when he grows up.
Sam Drucker (played by Garry Sorrell), is the town's storekeeper, banker, telegraph operator, and postmaster. If you need something done, Sam's the man you always have to go through.
The local AG man Hank Kimball, (played by Dennis Lancaster) serves as Mr. Douglas's advisor, advising on the crop numbers and projections.
But the most famous resident of Hooterville, is our honored guest tonight, Arnold Ziffel, the smartest darn pig you ever seen. Let's have a round of applause for Arnold, and thanks again for that great meal.
Now to entertain you with our version of the Green Acres theme song, the infamous boodylicous R and M sound machine. Hit it girls!
West Plains
(Sung to the Tune of The Green Acres Theme Song)
West Plains is the place to be.
Education is the life for me.
Knowledge spread'in out so far and wide.
Keep Springfield, just give me that countryside.
Springfield is where you said we'd stay.
I have degree plans anyway.
I adore Hammons Tower view.
Darling, I love you but give me Glenstone Avenue.
Test Scores,
The Stores,
Fresh Air,
Park Central Square.
You are my wife!
Goodbye city life!
West Plains, we are there!